Conejo Post

A 12-step program advises “restraint of pen and tongue.”  Today, I think it should read, “restraint of pen, tongue, and keyboard.”

Think back to not long ago, when we had to either call a person at a distance or send them a letter to communicate.  If you telephoned them, first of all, you knew with whom you were talking, and that it was just that one person (unless we go back to really ancient history, when phone lines, were party lines).  That is unlike emailing someone today.  Hopefully, you use the right email address and send to whom you want, but that is not guaranteed.  Then there are the choices in replying to a group email of just replying to the sender or to everyone.

But the good thing with phone conversations is that you could hear the expression in someone’s voice, to be able to interpret the emotional content of a message.  There was the imediate back and forth of communication, that might then cause you to modify what you were saying.  And, in sending letters by mail, there was the time factor, that often made a writer pause, between writing something and mailing it.  You could ponder if you indeed meant to say what you had written.

Well, in email, it is very easy to write something, without considering how what you are saying,  might be received and perceived on the other end.  There is not the imediate voice response, that gives you feedback to your message.  And, with email vs. snail mail, there usually is not the pause between writing and mailing. 

So, in considering email, texting, Facebook , and other electronic communication, I have decided  it is much easier to put your foot in your mouth now, than it used to be.  And, my new mantra that I am repeating from the old 12-step advice, is “Restraint of pen, tongue and keyboard!”   When in doubt, don’t print it or send it!

Posted by Janna Orkney